Adoption: Bridging the gap between ‘us’ and ‘them’

It’s November! Happy National Adoption month, y’all! Lately, I’ve been going through a whirlwind of emotion.

My mom recently brought it to my attention that not everyone understands and/or agrees with adoption, and that in fact a lot of people do everything in their power to avoid adoption. I had a friend tell me that one of her family members adopted and their goal was to try to get a child that looked genetically as close to them as possible.

Why am I sharing this with you?

These thoughts have never occurred to me. The thoughts of not wanting a child in my house because it doesn’t share my DNA have never occurred to me. The thought of only wanting a child who has my skin tone and hair texture sure has never occurred to me.

My goal with this adoption is not just to get a child, but to also begin a relationship with the birth mother that will last forever. My belief is that nothing will change in this world unless relationships are established, people unconditionally love each other, and bridges between ‘us’ and ‘them’ are built.

In my eyes, this adoption is so much bigger than our soon to be family of four. It’s building a deep, loving relationship, bringing communities together and eventually, and most importantly, showing the love of God to people who probably have not heard it before. Yes, I cannot wait to have our baby, but the true desire of my heart is to also be placed with the birth mother who is meant for us. People have different missions in life, and this is ours. We could probably go to the doctor and figure out why I have not gotten pregnant yet, but the vision is just so much bigger than another child.

I know I probably sound crazy.

I know people are probably going to read this and judge me.

But I hope that it inspires someone. Maybe it inspires you to reach out to a school in the bad part of town and volunteer with them (trust me, I KNOW they need it), maybe it inspires you to go to a shelter and volunteer one weekend, maybe it inspires you to take Christmas presents to a family in need (not just drop them off in bins [even though this is needed, too] but to actually go to their homes and deliver gifts).

My honest prayer is that more people decide to build relationships with people who they normally wouldn’t. Our prayerfully considered way of doing that is through adoption. ours can be through something else.

Doing radical things in life is not comfortable. This adoption process has sure not been comfortable. But these radical changes are needed. There is a world of people out there who need your unconditional love. I hope you find the way you can show that love.

To be honest, I’ve been feeling pessimistic about our finances. I keep looking at the number on our Go Fund Me “— out of $40,000 raised”. That gargantuan number seems unrealistic, impossible. It makes me feel crazy for following this calling.

But then I see people donating. People I haven’t seen in years, people I hardly talk to, my little brother who is in college and doesn’t have a job.

Thank you to these people.

Thank you for more than just your money. Thank you for showing us that we are not crazy. Thank you for showing us that you believe in us, in our dream, in our calling. I look at that number — $755. It’s nowhere near $40,000 but it’s $755 more than we had 20 days ago. We are making progress. If something were easy, it wouldn’t be worth doing.

If this touched you and you would like ideas on how to bridge the gap in your community — especially if you’re in St. Louis — reach out to me. This is my passion and I would love to help you find somewhere to plug into.

If you are financially able to help us, please do. We need your support. We are not going to make it to our goal without the generosity and faith of those around us. Here’s the link to our GoFundMe page if you’re interested in helping out.

With love,


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